Ways To Say 'I Love You' (According to books)
Don't you ever wish that being a stalker in some instances is acceptable?
*starts turning around in a chair with a malicious grin*
*chair squeaks because my goodness the girl ate too much*
*pats air in front pretending there's a cat there*
*realizes she's never had a cat*
*continues stroking the air*
Hello, deadly readers! I bring upon you, one of those ideas that struck me in the middle of a silent slight existential crisis that attacked me whilst I was considering studying for a test or reading a book I haven't found yet. Clearly, I chose neither of those, so I probably won't regret it. Of course, I'll regret it, that's one of the ways I feel rebellious and like one of those TV teen characters that party all night and still end up going to Harvard. I need that sort of life, just replacing the partying with staring at the mirror trying to figure out if I can get one of my eyes to move vertically while the other gets a split cat eye.
I honestly don't even know at this point. Anyhow! Shall we commence?
1.) I absolutely despise you and I hope you die. (but actually not because I love you too much, however, I will not verbally say it until 70 pages before the end)
This is one of the best ways I've found of declaring your adoration for another being. Also, maybe one of the best ways to get arrested but come on, what's a little excitement now and then?
Now, this has to be worked perfectly into the story, lest you find yourself absolutely despising a character and then helloooo, the author makes a sudden turn and you end up feeling annoyed. So, from a masochistic reader to a... better reader, these are some of my own personal preferences for executing this type of love:
Have a good reason of hating each other, please. If it's a deadly reason, even better. Or even a petty one. Just not because the love interest snapped a straw on you in kindergarten.
After y'all get together, for the love of gorgeous thorns everywhere, don't lose the amazing banter.
Still annoy each other, please.
Add lost of tension. If it's life threatening, that just adds 1000 cherries to the fictional pie. (and causes me to sweat and fangirl as well)
2.) I love you... but you're my friend, so we probably shouldn't.
They adore each other. Eveeeryyyyonnneeee can tell, really.
Both characters have most likely been friends since birth because both their mothers were also best friends and the moms have wished for both kids to get together, but obviously, they can't do that yet.
Why? Because their friendship will be ruined or something.
So what do both characters do? Oh, they probably get together with other people or silently fall for the other, wishing and hoping that the otehr character feels the same. And the story (most of the times) goes something like this:
Hi, my name is Blamanna and I'm irrecobably in love with my best friend of 17 years but I'm not going to tell him.
Hi, my name continues to be Blamanna and I'm now incredibly stressed because I didn't know my bff had grown into such a fine lad.
The tension between us is too much. He seems to be flirting, but there's no way he is, because we're 'just best friends'.
We almost kissed!! What does that mean?
I will ignore him for a while so my feelings can return to normal because there's no way he likes me like I like him.
Well... the igoring didn't work BUT, there's still no way he likes me.
Is he... asking me for Prom? Just as friends, I clearly told him. Even when my heart screamed otherwise. I saw his eyes flinch. Maybe it was a trick of the light.
Are... in love?
Okay yes, he just said so.
Epilogue: 12 years later... we're married and have nineteen kids.
3.) Hey I just met you, and this is crazy- so let me give you my entire life story in hopes that you will find my innate need for acceptance charming because of course, you see yourself in my many... many mistakes.
This is a trope I usually hate with every fiber in my very being, but then I go to Wattpad and read a whole book about it. I'm a walking contradiction. Anyhow, they probably saw each other once and already want to have babies.
(I really don't know why I don't like insta love since I insta fall in intense obsession with every and any book guy that has an intense past that needs a somewhat snarky healing hand)
(also the villains, I insta sacrifice my life for those suckers)
(Like I said, I'm contradicted myself)
As I was saying, the only criteria for this type of 'I Love Yous' is memorizing the taste of their lips by excessively sniffing the person's hair whenever they're remotely close enough. Yes, that did make sense and no, I am not high.
Unless it is on hot chocolate and lost expectations. *cries in greek*
4.) We're both stranded somewhere, so we might as well fall in love, right?
It's all about survival, they say.
It's just because we're tired, they mumble.
It's definitely not because one of the dudes looks like a pirate, definitely not.
Imagine this, you have a vacation planned with your family and suddenly, a storm comes to play. It ransacks the vessel, waves destroy the boat, other passengers are thrown overboard-tragic stuff, right? Anyway, the MC washes ashore, delirious, hungry, thirsty and in search for her missing family when suddenly a dark shadow obscures the sunlight. Who is it? Oh, a model of a dude. Yada yada, they fight, they almost die a couple of times, and bam... are they falling in love?
Why yes, yes they are.
And then, you know, they get out of the island with a few scratches, but their hearts so so full *gags on air*.
5.) Oh... OH, you meant that you loved ME Clara and not Cara, my SISTER. Hahaha, silly me, the miscommunication was too intense. I luv you tho-
This one doesn't even need much, just the following wonderful commentary:
I HATE IT AND I HATE IT, AND THE DRAMA I LOVE BUT THE REST I HATE.
TALK TO EACH OTHER DANG IT.
Also, I read the whole book just to know how they overcome the fifteen arguments of things both of them misinterpreted.
6. I know we didn't think about each other in the last 300 pages, but here, three paragraphs from the end, I just wanted to tell you that I would rather die than be without your ferocious love.
This mostly happens when the book is not centered around romance, possibly a traumatic story full of tension, life problems, and sadness galore. Or just a lot of bloody action. In most cases, the rushed romance is not necessary, not useful but if it's there and is cute- who am I to judge the guilty pleasure? So, after 400 pages of pain and suffering, perhaps there was a HINT of romance. Hint.
Hint that I probably overlooked.
It works when there's tension or flirting banter, but when there isn't any? It falls flat and feels too quick to be a proper emotion.