• Booktastically Amazing

Is a book worthy of 5 stars?

*Sipping in dramatic*

The real question is, have I ever given a book 5 stars? No. (She says whilst contradicting herself 6 paragraphs down. Intelligence is really an evolutionary part of the humanoid species) Will I in the future? Probably (she has). So perhaps I am a bit biased in deciding which book is deserving of 5 stars. But to be honest, some books have gotten REALLY close. Like, REALLY close to what I hope (and will forever hope) is a book I would totally have an epiphany over, every time I re-read it. Every. Time.

Now, to set up the premise to this particular, supremely organized, perfectly thought-through, list of mine. *Snort*

I have given my fair share of 4-star reviews, mainly because in my mind, this is how rating happens:

🌟 This was a waste of time. Trees were insulted, pages were ripped, my rant meter went through the roof, extremely disgusted at why I have finished such a piece of dung and question every book onward. Also, would rather place a limb (preferably one I do not like very much and gets in the way of functioning like a high self-esteemed, professional alien) in acid (non-toxic of course, I very much appreciate how I am now).

🌟🌟 Why would someone publish this? It was meh, characters were floppy, it did not disgust me but if given the chance, would burn to the pits of Hades's throne.

🌟🌟🌟 It had potential. For something. I could probably see it being turned into a movie, and the movie surpassing the book (completely and utterly). Would I re-read it? No. Would I quote it? Depends. Would I fangirl repeatedly about said books' existence? Absolutely, positively...not. Ahem, Reign the Earth. I'm looking right at YOU. Oh! And also, very disappointed.

🌟🌟🌟🌟 OMG. Um...what--how--um...what?! How in the world does a gem such as this one, exist?! The characters were magnificent, the plot was glorious, the action was illuminating, and the world building?! 2020 has NOTHING on it. (2020? Please don't take that as an initiative. Please don't. I have had enough shopping withdrawals to last a century)Would I re-read? At this point, we're probably conjoined as one lovely, bookish existence.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 *silence* *politically correct silence* *silence that is currently arguing on a debate concerning the wealthy Chewbacca-*

So yes, indeed I have no clue what a 5-star book is supposed to feel like. Perhaps I do actually, but I have so. Many. Expectations. You know what? I probably DO have a 5-star review. Because some books I've ranted (fangirled, died over, would kill for, etc) are 4.5 up. *Doing the complicated math, also known as, rounding numbers* So yes, I have HAD 5-star reviews.

The following (well-organized facts) are PROBABLY my main requirements, which may vary depending on my mood, (do I want to burn everything to the ground or do I merely want to set something on fire? The choice is so gosh-darned difficult sometimes) of giving a book the precious 5 stars.

Random Smart Thought: Want to do something fun that you'll most likely regret when you're stranded in a bathroom without toilet paper and a bad case of sugar crash? If so, just take a gulp, not a sip, {those two words get very confused sometimes} of your favorite drink every time the word 5-stars is said. Unless it's supremely alcoholic. Your liver will thank me for it. *snort*

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟Awesomtastic-would die for- books🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Okay, the main thing I would say about rating a book so highly is that everyone has different opinions about it, yeah? Not everything that I like, you like, etc. But for me, these are the top 4 things that constitute me giving 5 donuts (getting real tired of the term 'stars') to a piece of amazing fiction.

1. Did it make your heart go WOSHSDHSFISDFJ?

I am legitimately surprised I have yet to succumb to a heart attack. Seriously, I am extremely content that it hasn't happened and that my brain has somehow found the ability to continue to work, despite my inability to compute after reading such a book. Honest to goodness that the feeling of fangirling to such an extent is indescribable. Chills crawl, screeches reign terror on your bookish system, you know, the usual. Those emotions probably get upped every chapter from then on. That is one of the moments you think "Oh, wow. I am beginning to LIKE this."

2. Has half the book already passed and you are 100% sure it will always stay with you?

The writing is exceptional, the characters are preposterously good You have fallen hard for the book itself, every inch of it is perfection, you can already imagine quoting it in the future. You know, like a normal human being: YO! OI! YOOHOO! AS THE SELECTION SERIES ONCE SAID, “It's always the fear of looking stupid that stops you from being awesome.”

*Whole bus currently looking confused at the girl in her (very stylish, very mismatched) pajamas screaming nonsensical nonsense (it is not but to untrained classless ears it is) from her favorite book* You'll love doing it, I promise. Unless you don't. And there's a policeman nearby. Who actually likes doing said job. And is good at it. And you don't have the ability to run or you don't run unless being chased (which hello? It is the only time I will run. Gave Gym class a try once. Never again. Unless Derek Hale is right there with me.)

3. This is the moment where you straight up BELIEVE you have found your soulmate.

You probably have already finished said book and are currently in a state of bamboozlement. Tears have not stopped flowing, eyes are unfocused, emotions are a total wreck (which is justified), your way of life has maybe, perhaps, most certainly, been completely changed by that story. Seriously. The bookish life that you lived before? Waking up to obsessively read, brushing your teeth whilst reading, finding a way to read upside down in a car so you don't get dizzy and maybe throw up amongst other disgusting things your body decides to do at the moment where/when you least want it. All of THAT has been radically changed. Now you don't only wake up and read, no, you DREAM about being in said book, then proceed to try to read another book (because duh, you don't want to mourn since like all responsible beings, human or not, everyone likes to ignore until the problem goes away. Or in this case, a great book that left you destroyed). You not only brush your teeth whilst reading, no, but you also take baths reading said book. Is it dangerous? Quite a bit. Are readers prepared to have the reflexes of Zeus if and when the book slips from your fingers seeking the colorless, transparent, odorless liquid that forms the seas? Yes, yes we are.

4. This is probably when people around you start getting a bit annoyed but like, you don't care. In the slightest.

Have you ever acted like a certain character in that book? Have you ever tried to do things that are not possible but a certain character did? Ahem, Katniss. And also, have you incessantly tried to convince a person of the magnitude of your love for anything and everything concerning that story without sounding like a lunatic? If so, then it is probable that people have been annoyed about your existence. Um, existence concerning said book. Not existence overall. Perhaps you are a very nice human being, or human in general. What were we talking about? Oh right, fangirling out loud and annoying mucusy beings AKA people who don't read. (We love you but we WILL convert you to the art of reading. And no, I will not start with my favorite book. I want you to read it but at the same time, not exactly. That book is my baby. Adoptive baby.) You probably have fanfiction of this story on your favorites board or even have a Pinterest account solely dedicated to a certain character or a certain book. Maybe you're lucky enough to have the special, signed edition of said BOOTIFUL literary fiction. Which for that? I resent you a bit. But only about 12%. Okay, 50%. Fine, ugh 89%. What? Who doesn't want a special edition of a book that ultimately shattered you? I do! Sign me up!

If you have read the whole load of smartness delivered above for the purpose of bookish entertainment, then YOU my friend, are a true warrior. What was that saying? Not all heroes wear capes? Well, not all warriors decapitate their enemies and feast on their tears whilst having a banquet amongst the dead-ish bodies of their opponents, they also read. Um, that didn't go quite as expected. Don't quote me on that.

What is a book you think deserved 5 stars but somebody decided that they didn't like it, and they have ranted against it, regardless of the fact that, HELLO? It was absolute perfection to you.