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Bookish Boyfriend list

WISEEEEEE MEEEEENNNNN SAYYYYY, ONLY FOOOOOLLLSSS RUSHHHHH IINNNNN

BUT IIIIIII CANNNNNNNN'TTTT HELLLLPPPP

FALLINGGGG IN LOOOOOVE WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


*sigh* This is going to make me want to cry.

Because they're not real.

But they are.

Just not real enough for me. *massive sobbing*


Hello!~ And welcome back to another slight midlife crisis, this time concerning one of my lifetime obsessions... *intense drum roll*

Fictional characters!

are like a binding rope

connecting two souls

in the midst of eternal human suffering.

Many times there will be tears.

Many times there will be blood.

Thy heart will always hold my hand.

Forever shall this conviction be.

Forever shall my love for you exist.

Forever shall this be the truth.


~for my 7895847820480 fictional boyfriends/best friends and enemies.

Okay, *extreme sniffling* my poetic moment has come to a slight death. Now, we shall commence. In no particular order, of course, just from the oldest to the new ones. *snort*


{Screams can be heard in the distance. The curtains are pulled aside in a dramatic turn of hand}


1. Jack Hunter from Lovely Vicious.

Well, um... yeah nope. Moving on...


“The smell of Jack’s cologne wafts up, and the taste of his mouth is pepper and mint on my tongue as he leans in to whisper.

“If it’s a war you want, Isis Blake, it’s a war you’ll get.”

I felt my heart spasm, wait a sec-


“They picked on me freshman year,” he snipes. “I got tired of it. I fought back. They haven’t bothered me since.” He looks down at the jar of frosting I clutch in my hands. “Are you eating that out of the can?”


“Are you the king of stupid questions?” I fire back. “Of course I am! Frosting is the ambrosia of the gods. God, if you’re into that religious thing. Are you religious? Somehow I get the feeling the only church you’d join is the church of self-worship. Your body is your temple. Work it, boy.”

I am going to straight-up throw a tantrum. I NEED this.

Ugh, FINE. He's perfection, okay? Absolute and utter perfection. His sarcasm gives me life, his intelligence is insulting to my brain, and his personality is like a cactus I want to hug. Yes, I will get prickled. Also yes, I will enjoy it. He is just... marriage/kiss/life material.


Perks of having him as a companion:

  • He will never get boring. As in, ever.

  • He will be an amazing example as to how a guy should be. Apart from the whole, 'hate you first' type of thing. But even then, I would fall HARD. I fall hard regardless so I-

  • The endless amount of sassy comebacks and out of the world love will always be present. Even when you're angry at each other. ESPECIALLY then. *smirk*

Current status: In a relationship.

Future status: With me

2. Victrix from Sileverlegs

I would like to mention that... I wanted to punch him about 89% of the time.


“It’s out of my hands,” he said with a chuckle. “You keep running until he says you’re done.”

I wanted to kill him and kiss him at the same time.


“He turned around. “I didn’t really touch you,” he said in a low breath. “Just your face… I liked that you weren’t wearing that fu[...] mask for once.”

Boiiii, who gave you the right to mess with my heartt??


Apart from that, of course, he will forever be my husband and shall always find safe haven in my arms. That being said, the aforementioned arms will have a knife, which then will be plunged into his heart, because this boy is A PIECE OF WORK. And I will gladly pay the rent with it.


Perks of standing his amazing self:

  • Your anger management issues will grow, but your love for him will also grow. And yes, that is a perk.

  • He is the type of guy who will push you to do your best, even when you feel like giving up. And you will hate him.

  • I only witnessed a few vulnerable moments with him. However, I can already tell. I will break that shell, REAL QUICK. And you can do it too! Following the next steps.

a.) Have warrior skills.

b.) Create a sword from scratch.

c.) Stab him-



Current Status: In search.

Future status: Happily stabby stabby married.

3. Cardan from The Rat Tail. Y'all already know who he is... The Cruel Prince. *le sigh*

Need I say more? I think not.


“Most of all, I hate you because I think of you. Often. It's disgusting, and I can't stop.”

Oh dear goodness.


“Yes, my great villain, my darling god. I will be as sober as a stone carving, just as soon as I can”

I am dying. Hotaulance porfavor.


This man is one of those that make you want to throttle him half of the time and kiss him to death the other half. Mixed feelings will reign galore, and swoon worthy lines will rain from the ever present daddy issues that all of these men seem to suffer from.


Perks of Faeying with him *snort:

  • The thing is... he can sell anything, and you would buy it. Does that make sense? No. Does HE make sense? Also, no. It's a puzzle y'all. A veryyyy good puzzle.

  • The sassiness and hawtness and intelligence and wittiness that comes from being fed by a cat growing up are ever-present in Cardan.

  • Enjoy the muffins. Ooo! If someone actually bakes muffins please share them in the coffins! I mean- comments. I could've sworn I had written that right.


Current Status: With an inconsequential someone.

Future status: Me.

4. Maven from Red Queen.

Dang it, I can't say much about him because it will most likely be considered a spoiler. GRRR

“And somehow everyone calls me a monster.”

Oooh! Me! ME! I DON'T CALL YOU A MONSTER. UNLESS YOU BITE


“I could set the world on fire and call it rain”

I need an inhaler.


He is the sweetest *wink*, most kind *wink wink* and most gracious *wink wink wink* being ever. He ultimately exudes love for people and oneself. The best thing about him? His conscience. *infinite amount of winks*


Perks of not wanting to strangle him:

  • The number of times I squealed, fainted, died, and combusted during every lie he uttered from the end of book one to book... 4? 5? Hmm. It was unprecedented.

  • Ha! He is just a precious cinnamon roll with extra sparkles. *WINK*

  • Finally, his personality and mental... ish. Was so... peaceful... It truly blew my mind.


Current status: ?

Future status: ??????

5.Bishop from The Book Of Ivy.

Do I recommend the book? Not exactly. Do I recommend HIM? ABOSLUTELY YES.


“He blows out a breath, takes a step toward me. The hallway is so narrow that I’m pinned between the wall and his body, heat rolling off him in waves. “Yeah,” he says, voice low. “I feel things.” His green eyes burn. It’s the most emotion I’ve seen from him so far, and I have trouble taking a full breath, my lungs compressed with tension. “That’s the whole point, Ivy. I want you to feel them, too.”

I AM FEELING ALLLLL OF THOSE FEELINGS. ALLLLL OF THEM.

“I lower myself to sit sideways across his lap, resting my weight gingerly on his thighs. I hope he can’t feel my body quaking.

He studies me for a long moment. “I won’t break,” he says finally. He puts a hand on my lower back, supporting me.

“I’m tall,” I say by way of apology as I let him take my full weight.

“I’ve noticed.” Bishop’s voice is quiet. “I like it.”

Me with my short self: ---------------------- DANG IT


See, his perfection is just that. Perfection. He is incredibly perfect, and has perfect qualities, and his charisma and ruthlessness are perfect and he is simply... perfect.


Perks of marrying him:

  • He knows how to make someone feel special, flushed, blushing, and red in the face. The attention he gives to every detail is out of this atmosphere, so he can read when you're sad, in need of space, and in need of venting.

  • Apart from that, THE GUY KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE. A TEENAGER. THAT COMMUNICATES. I CANNOT BREATHE. So yes, he is all that.

  • The guy is completely flawless, and I think I'm feeling heart palpitations, so I'll stop now-


Current status: In a relationship with a girl who doesn't deserve him.

Future status: Babies. Lots and lots of bootiful babies.



Oh! Was there supposed to be more men on this list? Oh, yes. Yes, there were. To be precise, *yeets self to count book boyfriends* 567 guys who stole my soulless body and converted it into a field of messed up feelings and emotions. Have I sobbed over them? *nod* Have I also created imaginary scenarios in which they come to life and recognize that I'm the love of their lives? *nod nod nod nod nod nod*


So thank you, everybody, for listening to a new segment of Booksy Has No Idea How To Write A Review About A Book She Actually Liked, Therefore, She's Employing Her Time In Another ~VERY~ Useful Endeavor.


Hasta luego, amigos!

P.S: I'll go cry now.

Can anybody hand me a muffin?

Any Book Boyfriends Lists of your own? Leave a comment below! I'll make sure to fangirl excessively, even if I don't know the person. *WINK WINK*


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